Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Can't Wait For Summer


As we await more icky, nasty, ugly weather, I thought I'd post my favorite picture of The Prince. Which is what we call him around here.
Tomorrow we leave for Southern Maine to stay in a Vacation Villa for two nights. It comes complete with two bedrooms, a full kitchen and dining room a washer and dryer AND two bathrooms. The great part is the indoor swimming and for me the hot tub. It also offers a large game room. My kids are stoked and I'm almost ready.
I've been cleaning like a mad woman. I started doing laundry yesterday morning at 6am. and my last load went in the dryer at 11pm last night. Damn! That was a pile of dirty laundry. I have no idea how it got so out of hand. Thank goodness it's done. I just stopped to take a break now to say Hi to you and get out of the bleach fumes I've created in the bathroom. My eyes are a burnin.
It's colder than a nun's vagina here right now. It's -6 with a wind that's whippin all around. It takes your breath away. I'm surprised the dogs penis hasn't froze off. Brrrrr
I'll post some pictures of our "Villa" tomorrow or Friday.
If I don't do it before the ball drops I want to wish all of you A Very Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Crush

Marian thought long and hard as to what she was going to get Chrissy for Christmas. It took her until 1:00pm Christmas Eve Day to figure it out. Then we had to do a mad dash to Walmarts to hopefully get it.
First before I say anything else, let me tell you this. Chrissy has a severe crush on Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers. She has a picture of him in a frame and recently Marian came to me and told me Chrissy kisses him good morning every day. I feel like a traitor telling you this. My girl crush was on Shawn Cassidy. I loved him.
So, we get Chrissy's gift and get the darn thing wrapped and Chrissy bounces off the walls trying to guess what it is. She was so excited to open this gift she had Kadie help her.
What this picture doesn't show well is how very red Chrissy's little face is. She tried to look cool when she saw it, but couldn't quite pull it off.
Nick Jonas is the one on the right. Keven is on the left. He just got married. He saved his virginity for his wife. That's all I'll say about that. (say that in a Forrest Gump voice)
This is what I got from my sister in law. Money included. Bless her heart! What a cool gift.
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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wii Will Never Be The Same


I don't know if I should Hug these two or HATE these two. I have always stated my hatred for video games. They are for vidiots. Last Wednesday, Kadie and Grand Master came up to have dinner and give the girls their Christmas presents. Kadie was going to be home for Christmas but Grand Master was going to his parents and he wanted to see the girls open their gifts.
You can't even imagine the chaos the ensued when the kids opened the packages and realized they had got a Wii. They rolled on the floor, laughing, squealing and singing. I have video, but it doesn't do it justice.
Grand Master quickly set everything up and he and K-Dog quickly played the boxing game.

Then Dane and Mimi had to get in on the action. I quickly realized that something(s) in my living room are going to get broken. Sigh.

Don't you just love a little guy in white boxer briefs and a tee shirt! He kept yelling, "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" He really wanted to kick Mimi's backside.

Chrissy decided to join in and had time to drop a quick fake fart on her brothers head. After all if you stick your head near a butt, your asking to be farted on.
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Monday, December 21, 2009

I really really love my little girls


I love my big girl too. I felt I needed to say that. (In case she's reading this) We had our Christmas Choir this past Sunday.

My girls, my girls just pretend to hate on each other.

This girl here had a small solo. Sigh. I forgot to tape it I was so excited to hear her sing.

Here is the video that I did manage to tape. I hope it came out. I do have to tell you that they have a few cousins singing with them. See if you can tell who's related.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7aZ5bXwtpw&layer_token=699033abfa92af41


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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sadsack

I really dislike having my picture taken and usually run from the camera. But I'm posting this one to let you see what has happened over the past few months. Do you see the black all around my eyes? It's not make up. It's called not sleeping. It's called falling asleep and dreaming things no one should ever dream so you lay awake the rest of the night.
By the way, I'm making Dane his oatmilk. It's the only thing he really likes for breakfast. I don't know why but he refuses to call it oatmeal.
I haven't been in the Christmas spirit this year. I think I've lost my Christmas Mojo. I do have 99% of my shopping finished and everything pretty much is wrapped. Which is awesome for me. Normally I shop Christmas Eve Day. I really do. Ask anyone who loves me that lives out of town if they get gifts before or after Christmas. They will all tell you after. I secretly wish we could celebrate Christmas on New Years. Think of the deals you could get!
I know the real reason for Christmas and try very hard to remember it's not about what's under the tree.
Speaking of the real reason for Christmas, we have been trying to find a new cake recipe for Baby Jesus's Birthday Cake. Anyone have any ideas? Does anyone have a good Red Velvet Cake Recipe? Is Red Velvet Cake even good? Let me know. Please and Thank You.
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Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Price you have to Pay

Our girls started basketball a few weeks ago. Two practices each during the week and games at noon on Saturday. So that's four nights a week playing basketball, Two games on Saturday (at the same time at different schools) plus choir which is twice a week. No my kids don't socialise. We had been sailing through everything just fine. Choir is out at 5:30 swing around McDick's for nuggies, drive twenty minutes to the school to get which ever kid who has practice their on time. Watch kid practice, write notes so I can explain what pivot means and free throw and travel. (This is our first year playing.)
Tuesday night, Dave and Chrissy brought Mimi to practice. I got to stay home with Dane. I had big plans for my hour. Do some dishes, put Dane to bed, paint my toenails, braid the hair under my arms. (Remember, we homeschool, we don't shave and we wear denim jumpers.) Actually, I as I was getting Dane some jammies from upstairs and talking to Kadie on the phone, I noticed how icky dirty the stairs were. It looked like the girls took cocoa upstairs and spilled some on every step as they went up them. So on my way back down I grabbed a wet rag and started to wash them as I went. Are you bored yet? This is real life baby. Half way down the phone beeped in I had another call. Sigh. I hate when that happens. Being in the middle of something and having to stop to answer the other line.

Phone: Ring Ring or beeeeep beeep
Me: Hello (said with a HUGE sigh like I'm put out)
Dave: Hey, Marian's hurt.
Me: Hurt how, you just fuc83n got there.
Dave: No, she's really hurt, I'm on my way to the Fire Station with her. I think her shoulder is dislocated. Bye. Click

Oh MY WORD!!!!!!!!!
I stand in shock then think, Fire Department? What? I call a neighbor to come sit with Dane. I forget to call Kadie back. I race to the Fire Department. When I get their they are finishing up. They didn't think her shoulder was dislocated, just badly jammed.


Upon getting home I find out that the kids had just started practice and were running to the other end of the court where Marian slipped in water that had come in off another child's feet. Her feet went up over her head and she came down on her shoulder. Ouch.
She looked pretty pathetic. Huh? Trust me, she got A LOT of attention. The next day I took her to the doctor and we did an ex-ray. She had some serious swelling of the clavicle. But nothing was broke, cracked or out of place. Thank you Baby Jesus!
What she did get was a nifty sling to wear. She's supposed to wear it for a week so she doesn't forget her arm is hurt and do something to really hurt it. So far she's worn it on the way home from the doctors office and this picture. She keeps talking about how cool it is and how it will make a great Halloween costume.
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Livin in Maine

Sunday afternoon we got a snowstorm. I didn't even know it was supposed to snow. I was surprised when everyone else knew except for me and Dave. How did we miss this? Once we left the party we had a twenty five minute ride to get to Chrissy to her Youth Group Christmas Party. If it hadn't been a party I would have told her that we were just going home. It was a party after all. And since we home school and our kids don't socialise at all I felt it was very important for her to be their. SNORT!!! Once we dropped her off we headed for home. I wasn't driving I was riding shotgun. Or riding bitch. What exactly does that mean? I heard it on a movie once.
Once we got home, I got to get behind the wheel and head back into Church to pick Chrissy up from Youth Group. I know, crazy! A normally fifteen to eighteen minute ride turned into a thirty minute ride. My van is like a Billy Goat. It just goes. I've never used studded snow tires. Just good all weather tires. I didn't hydroplane one time.
On the way home Chrissy took these pictures. She wanted to show everyone how we couldn't see very well.
We are on the interstate. Notice how you don't see any other headlights or taillights. I think we were the only morons out and about.
The things we do for love.
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Thursday, December 10, 2009

I was hoping to win Mother of the Year

You know, it's not easy to home school your children. You have to put up with certain things that a teacher in a school system doesn't have to put up with. I think it's because your own children know how far they can go. Mine go far. Sometimes too far. It's okay though. I'm determined to do this thing called homeschooling. At least until I snap. Then I might have to spend some time in jail.

This morning we were having a great morning. We were humming through our work. The girls were not pulling each others hair or spitting in each others faces. They were being quiet and reading chapter three and four of Where The Red Fern Grows.

That is when Chrissy told me that Dane was too quiet. I told her to mind her own business and read. It was nice and quiet. I thought Dane was watching Blue's Clue's. Chrissy wouldn't let up. "You know he's into something." "I think he's in the kitchen." "You really need to check on him before he gets hurt." I about snapped. Honestly I told her. Your not his mother. He's fine! DO YOUR WORK AND STOP MOTHERING YOUR BROTHER!

About three seconds later I heard a dish crash in the sink. Sigh.

You know, I've been working hard in the morning to make sure the kids get up early and get ready for the day. They get up and eat. Then they shower, get dressed and brush their teethe. We are good to go in case the Home school police come to see if we really do get out of bed during the day.

So I tell the girls to keep reading then practice their Tin Whistles and I race into the kitchen.







This is what I find. Notice the steak knife?

Apparently you have to be naked to used a steak knife to make yourself a peanut butter and fluff sandwich.


Not only that but you have to get Fluff all over your clean body. Yum, naked buns on my kitchen counter. Do you see that KNIFE!!!!!!!!
When I first came into the kitchen he was licking it.
Nope, no Mother OF The Year Award here.
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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Oven Baked Beef Stew


I absolutely love this recipe. I have no idea where I got it but have added and taken away ingredients to it for years. This is how I make it this year.
Oven Baked Beef Stew

2 (14 1/2 ounce) cans of diced tomatoes with juice. Do not drain
1 cup of Beef Broth (If you don't have any, just use water.)
1/2 cup of white wine
3 Tablespoons of Quick Cooking Tapioca
2 Teaspoons of sugar
1/2 teaspoon of black pepper
2 LBS. of lean stewing beef cut up into 1 inch pieces
4 carrots peeled and cut in 1 inch pieces (Here I just purchased a bag of baby carrots and dumped them in)
3 celery ribs cut in 3/4 inch pieces
1 medium onion chopped
1 16 ounce package of White Button Mushrooms sliced
1 slice of bread cubed

In a large bowl mix the first 6 ingredients the add the rest and mix well.
Pour into a 13x9x2 inch dish and cover.
Bake at 375 degrees for 1 and 45 minutes to 2 hours (when beef and veggies are soft)


I am not a chef. Or a photographer. I do like to eat. I forgot to take a picture as soon as this came out of the oven. I was too hungry.

I snapped a picture of some stew in a bowl and realized that this is the ugliest bowl in the house. I bought these at the Dollar Store for the girls to eat cereal out of. That way I wouldn't care if they got broke.
I hope you try this recipe it's delicious!
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Tuesday, December 8, 2009





This is what we have to except tomorrow. By the time it's finished the girls will be able to go skiing:) All I can think of is digging out. AGH. This is a picture of the girls a few years ago.

A piece of advice for everyone who this will be affecting: STAY HOME!!!!!





Wednesday: Snow likely, mainly after 10am. The snow could be heavy at times. Cloudy, with a high near 30. Northeast wind 6 to 9 mph increasing to between 15 and 18 mph. Winds could gust as high as 33 mph. Chance of precipitation is 70%. New snow accumulation of 7 to 11 inches possible.




Wednesday Night: Snow showers. Low around 30. Breezy, with a northwest wind 17 to 20 mph decreasing to between 6 and 9 mph. Chance of precipitation is 90%. New snow accumulation of 1 to 3 inches possible

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Simon



We have been looking for games to play with the kids. I have to let you in on a secret, a secret that a homeschool mother should never admit to. I hate games. I mean really hate them. I can't sit still long enough to play them. They bore me. I'd rather do laundry. I'd rather get my eyes poked out with needles. You get the picture?
Except this game. When Dave asked where we could buy one, I thought it would be easy. They must still make the. Right? I mean they still make Monopoly (the most boring game of all).
Guess what!? They don't make it anymore. Sure you can still bid on them with EBAY. You can buy one new in a box for $179.00 off Amazon. But I think the most disturbing thought I have about this whole thing is the game came out in 1978. Holy Moly I'm old.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

While Dave Was Away


Two weeks ago while we were in the throws of H1N1 and sick as dogs, Dave (lucked out) had to go on a business trip to Omaha. I had big plans for while he was away. I was finally going to paint the hall and fix the stairs. It didn't work out. What did happen (because something always does) is I got the shit scared out of me and made it impossable for me to go to bed at night until he came home. Before I go on with telling what happened, I first must say that this door (the one the chairs leaning against) has been in this house waaaay before we lived here. What you don't see is the holes at the top of the door showing where someone punched the door many times. I used to hide the holes with calenders and pictures but after awhile I just said screw it. Now I stare at it and wonder what kind of man would punch a door? I also wonder if he was kind of whimpy because I think I could throw a better punch.
Now on to the story.
As most of you know, we have an outdoor wood boiler. That means I have to go outside to fill the wood boiler. It really is not a big deal. With the exception of not having very good lighting in the barn where the wood is stacked. I'm a big scaredy cat and hate to put wood in the stove after dark. Dave on the other hand doesn't think that it's a big deal. And has ignored my pleas for massive lighting.
The very first night Dave is gone, I go out at 10:00pm for the final fill up of the evening. I go out through the basement and not the barn. This is important to know because if someone was in my barn or milling around the barn they wouldn't know I came outside. It had got quite cold out and the mud and water on the ground had started to freeze.
I go into the part of the barn where the wood is and fill up an armload of wood. I can't see well because it is really dark out. I put an armload into the stove and head back into the barn. Once inside I stand for a minute to check out which pieces of wood I want and that's when I hear crunching of footsteps. I can't see a flipping thing though. Not only is it very dark but separating me and where I hear crunching is a John Deere front end loader. I can't see around it. The crunching stops for a minute but then continues. I AM FREAKING OUT! No one and I mean no one ever comes by the barn. We have almost four acres behind our house that go to the river and get foot traffic heading that way but no one comes by the house. I have nothing to protect myself with and I'm home alone with the kids. FUCK!
So I say very loudly,"Who's out there?" The crunching stops right then. Of course no one answers. I run through the side door and back in the basement. Chrissy is sitting on the steps waiting for me and I tell her to go up and lock all doors and have Marian go to all windows and make sure they are locked. We have twenty two windows, twenty six counting the ones in the basement.
I then shut off the basement light and crack open the door. Someone is out in the bottom of our barn. No, I didn't call the police they wouldn't have done anything within a two hour period and by then we would have been dead if that's what someone intended.
So again, I hollered out,"Hey, who's out there?" No answer. So I did the only thing I could do at that point, I yelled bad (very) bad words at them. I hurled out a bunch of them. I won't regale you with my wit because it truly is obvious that I am trashy.
I then shut the door a locked it. I took a glass table top and tilted it against the door and stacked a bunch of boxes in front of that. Yes, I know it wouldn't have kept anyone out but it would have made a lot of noise had someone opened the door. I then littered the floor with roller skates and toys going all the way over to the stairs. Am I boring you yet? I know, I'm sooo long winded. The basement is very dark without the light on and even with a flashlight it is hard to see. I then trucked up the stairs and checked all doors and windows myself.
I propped a chair under the doorknob so if some dumb ass made it that far it would buy us more time to GET OUT. I called my hero husband and explained what had happened and he thought it was just a cat. A Fucking cat. Cat's don't fall through the ice and if they did they sure as hell wouldn't keep doing it! Nor are they that loud. He was no help at all.
So that night and the rest of the nights while my husband was out of town, I sat on the couch with the dog at my feet all night. Waiting for something to happen. Nothing ever did. Well, something did, I never went back out that first night to add the rest of the wood to the stove and the damn thing when out over night and I had a hell of a time getting it started back up. For the rest of the nights after that, I drove the truck out back and shined the high beams all around to see if I saw anyone. I never did.


We did a buch of this though. Laying around. Because I wasn't getting any sleep, I got sick. As a matter of fact I'm still sick, which is why I have not been posting.

The good news is, after a meningitus scare and a mono scare Marian is feeling better!!!!!Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

It's all about the Cream Cheese




Our household had been sick. Very sick. If I ever complained about how sick my family has ever been, trust me it's nothing compared to this past few weeks. This little guy, for instance, started puking in the van the Monday after Halloween. His sister caught it or tried to with her own hands. (Then shortly after, she started puking.) My van still smells even though I've gone out almost every day and scrubbed. I even took the seats out (heavy friggers they are) overnight to air them out. That's when the fun really started. One of the barn cats decided to urinate on one of them. Now I'm cleaning cat piss and puke smell.

As you can see, it's apparent we have no rules at out house. You want a bagel? You just get it. You want cream cheese, you get it. You don't need to ask. You just push the chair over and climb up and in. It doesn't matter that mom said no. Who needs rules? Rules are for wimps.

We thought the dreaded H1N1 had struck our home. Dane was sick and Mimi followed. For over a week they coughed, sneezed and puked. Then everything seemed to get better. But I was wrong, VERY,VERY wrong. I started to get a sore throat, my sinus's felt like they were going to explode and then Mimi got it again. The worst part was Dave. He was out of town for the whole week. There was no one to take care of me! Yes, ME, Dammit! I had to suck it up. Fend off intruders (now that's another story I'll talk about soon) get up everyday, teach school, blow my nose at least a gazillion times. But then as fast as I got sick I felt sort of better. (I still feel like crap, but functioning crap)
Now Mimi on the other hand just got worse. So Friday afternoon I did the dreaded. I took her to the doctor. Who sent her for a chest x-ray. Which came back fine but in the process Mimi got a funky rash down the front of her chest and down her back. Okay, I thought, she has a fever, this can happen. Well then the doctor calls back and explains she has been in council with two other doctors in her practice and they would like Mimi to go see the Pediatrician on call at the hospital. Marian has had specific pain in her back and neck and since her lungs were clear and she didn't have strep they were concerned of her having something else. Like meningitis. Or Epstein Barr. Did you know that Epstein is Mono? Who knew? So back to the hospital we went. All the while my poor husband was trying to get home. He had hell flights. He had to change planes three times. Every time he landed and called I told him more bad news.
Some people sky-dive for thrills. We don't have health insurance. You don't need to jump out of a plane to make your heart thump out of your chest, just have a sick kid and an emergency room visit.
Things I learned over the past few days. Marian is fine. Sort of. She has H1N1, probably. Did you know that the test for H1N1 takes between three and five days to process? Did you know that Tamaflu, the "miracle" for H1N1 has to be given in the first forty-eight hours of getting it in order for it to work. The doctors are not even testing for H1N1. They are just giving out the drug. Why,? Because people are demanding it. They are panicking. Thats all I have to say about that. Except we did not take the Tamaflu. No test, no drugs. That's how I roll baby.
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Friday, November 20, 2009

TGIF

I don't think I've ever been so happy that Friday is finally here. Except maybe when I was twenty one and I was going bar hopping. But that was a different time.
We have had an extremely long week here in Kennebec. It started a week and a half ago with Dane getting sick. We just got him on the right track and I came down with it and within a day Mimi has got this vile thing. AGH!
I don't like being sick. I know, no one does. For me though, I act like a baby. I want to be held and spoon fed. I want the world to stop and comfort me. (Meaning I want my husband to stop everything he's doing and care for me.) That didn't happen for me though. Why? Why? Because DAVE'S NOT HERE!
Where is he? He's far away. Too far away to be of any comfort to me. Too far away to run and get me Ginger Ale. Too far away to tell me if my head is hot. Too far away to listen to my complaining that I'm sick every hour.
My darling husband in in Omaha. He'll fly back home tonight but the airport in an hour and a half from home so it will probably be the wee hours before he gets in. I can't wait! I have a weeks worth of whining to do.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Living

Well I finally pulled off the rest of my fake fingernails. It was a tough job. I am now missing most of my pinky fingernail and the rest of my nails look like crap. My only options going into the holidays are to either get them done again or don't care. (As I'm typing this my daughter asked me why I keep nodding my head? Maybe she should just go back to her math and stop watching me. Nothing in this house is sacred.)
We don't have any Christmas parties to go to anyway. That is the one thing I miss about living in Florida. We had many friends. Starting the weekend after Thanksgiving right up until New Years Eve we partied every weekend.
Not that we don't have friends here in Maine. People in Maine are some of the kindest and most generous you'll ever meet. You just have to drive over an hour to see them. Actually you have to drive further than that in most cases. But I know with these friends I could just show up and say "We're Here!" and everyone would be happy. This weekend I'm going to meet a new friend. She feels like an old friend. But we've never met in person before. I'm so excited I feel like I'm going to puke. Well, maybe I feel like I'm going to puke because I have this dratted flu. It will all be gone by Thursday though. I'm willing it away. The last time we were going to meet up I had to move in with my mom and then my mom died. So I don't have anymore moms to take care of so we should be all set. Unless she gets sick.
We aren't going anywhere for Thanksgiving this year. We rarely go out on holidays. We have invited our neighbor over as we do every year. A long time ago in the third year of our marriage and after being run ragged by our families we started to lie to everyone. We would get bombarded with Thanksgiving Day invations and like Christmas spend the day running all over to please everyone. So we started to tell everyone we had plans. Yeah, we had plans alright, plans to be alone. We would turn the phone off and pull the curtains shut and have the day to ourselves. Just the three of us. Even though we had dinner together all the time, Thanksgiving was always special. Now Kadie is grown up, I can't tell here to be here. If she wants to be with Grand Master B I have to accept it. Though it makes me sad. Also because I refuse to accept her not being here at Christmas. She did that one year in her rebellious stage. We let it ruin our whole day. Now if she tried to pull that shit I'd hunt her done and drag her sorry arse back here. That's right Kadie, I mean you. Until your married and have children your expected to be here Christmas Eve. No matter what. You know the rules. When you have children then you can stay home. We will bring our band of merrymen to you. Hee hee

So what is everyone else doing for Thanksgiving? What are you Thankful for? In this world right now all there is is bad news (except for those terrorests that are going on trial in New York, they are loving our country now.)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Entertainment


At our house, and I'm sure at yours too, our kids put on shows for us. Wonderful, funny, and sometimes ear- plugging shows.
Recently we had one.
The girls are practicing for the Christmas service at Church. They have the CD and the words on paper and practice faithfully. Much to our dismay. You see, our girls, they are tone deaf. It really isn't their fault. It's mine I suppose but I don't have the heart to crush their little hopes and dreams of becoming Miley Cirus. So we say nothing and smile and wish we had another glass of wine to dull the ringing in our ears.
For this show Marian applied a liberal about of sparkly lotion to her face. It shines like a good sheen of sweat. They continuously fought for the microphone. The show even had a wardrobe change in Dane's closet. They are in Dane's room.
I think what I love about them putting on shows is how they work together as a team. They sang and danced but most of all they laughed. Big belly busting laughs that made everyone laugh.

See up at the top right hand corner. (the picture of the Bose Radio) I bought that for Dave one Christmas many many moons ago. I used to take it with us where ever we went cause I was afraid that it being the nicest thing in the house, if someone broke in they would have to steal it. It was the nicest thing we owned. I know I have issues. I took it from Dave and gave it to Dane. I am an Indian Giver. I also took Dave;s leather rocker recliner and put it in Dane's room so when I sat with him at night I would be comfortable. Dave gets no respect sometimes. But I sure like sitting in that chair late at night. Lately Danes been really sick (I don't know if it's H1N1 or not) and I've spent much time sitting in that chair worrying about his breathing or if he's going to explode out of one end or the other. Sometimes it's both ends. Thankfully he's coming around. Today he ate an entire container of strawberries. He wanted more but I gave him some oatmeal instead. I also did something I said I would do, I bought Ovaltine to put in his milk. I've been so worried that he's not eating very well and I just bought it. An impulse buy. I'm not regretting it either. Even the girls like it so I'm going to go with it for now. Do your kids drink it? Or do you? Do you think it's a bad idea to start Dane on this? I wonder if he'll drink milk without it ever again.
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Thursday, November 12, 2009

B is for Booger, That's good enough to eat........

It's StoryTime!!!!!!!

Some people have already heard this story but I believe it should be told again. Why, because everytime I tell it makes me laugh so hard I feel like I'm going to pee. Not that I like that feeling but I do like to laugh.

Our youngest daughter was about three. She had a bad cold and thick green snot pouring from both sides of her nose. It was gross, I remember it like yesterday. Well she kept digging at her nose and then her hand would wipe across her mouth. That's the way it is with kids. They are gross. They are dirty and you would do anything for them not to be sick.
I also worried that if she picked her nose and rubbed her eyes she'd get the dreaded pink eye. If you get pink eye in this house, mom and dad pay a babysitter big bucks and they go stay in a hotel until it's past. (To this day when Kadie rubs her eyes Dave and I cringe.

Getting on with this, I would never call myself a bad mother, I don't believe I am. What I am is questionable.
Marian had boogers, I may or may not have seen one go in her mouth. I plead the fifth. It was a long time ago. So I grabbed her little hand and as I washed it and sang the ABC's I explained to her that if she ate a booger her tongue would turn black and rot off. If you recall, I'm the mom who placed Tickle Me Elmo and Billy The Marlin in places that I didn't want the kids because they were scared of them. Now I never gave it another thought. Not once, not ever.
Fast forward to now. My recently turned nine year old has a bad cold. Her nose is runny and crap is draining down the back of her throat. She has been walking around for days with a hand held mirror. I didn't know why. Two nights ago Chrissy comes to me and says, please tell Mimi that it's not true. I say what's not true? She says that your tongue won't rot and fall off if you eat boogers. What I say? Then I remember. I can't believe that she even remebers this. So I'm like Mimi, what are you talking about?
Mimi: Remember, you told me my tongue would turn black and rot.
Me: I said that when you were three.
Mimi: (very angry) Why would you say that?
Me: Because I didn't want you to eat boogers.
Mimi: No, mom why would you say something so mean. All this time I thought that was true.
Me: I can't contain myself. I'm laughing and can't even talk. The look she's giving me is one of a kind.
Chrissy then piped in to say, "She's been carring that mirror around all week checking to see if her throat is turning black cause the snot is running down it."
Oh my Gosh! I laughed until I cried and then called Dave so we could both laugh and Mimi went to her room and slammed thr door. Now that's why you have kids!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009



I don't know why I couldn't make this picture larger. I did try. It's a picture of Dave, his mom and one of his many cousins. Dave and Dane look alike. My goodness.

Dave's mom was beautiful. Everything that I'm not. Tall, Dark and a smile that could leave you breathless.

Sadly, I never got to meet his mom. She died just after her forty third birthday of a heart attack. Dave was twenty three. He hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks. They lived in different states.

I didn't really know my husband then. I was in our I'm avoiding you like the plague stage.

 I can't imagine what he must have went through. I know that to this day, every once in awhile something reminds him of his mom and makes him laugh.

Even though we never got to meet, "Grammy Janice who lives in Heaven with Baby Jesus" She'll always be remembered. Dane shares her birthday on Valentine's Day. Chrissy's hair is the same color and feels like his moms hair. (He remembers how his mom's hair feels to this day) And Marian gives the same looks that his mom used to give. So through the kids he'll always see her.

I really don't know where I'm going with all of this, I guess I woke up today and thought I don't have it that bad and it's time to move on. I did all I could and that's it. No regrets.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

I Miss My Mom (Even though she drove me crazy)

This has been a real bitch of a week. I've spent more time blubbering than anything. My birthday was Thursday and I started crying Wednesday night. I haven't been able to stop. It's really stressing everyone out. The kids are really stressed out. Poor Dane thinks that crying all the time is normal. I hate to cry. It's a sign of weekness. It really is. I mean everyone is entitled to a good cry but crying daily. AGH!
Yesterday, after I spent most of the day doing nothing but being a cry baby Dave asked me if I could fake it, just for the kids. (Being my old self) I started to laugh. Fake it, yeah right. I tried to fake a you know what once and got caught. Meg Ryan I'm not. If I can't fake that, I sure can't fake being happy.
I don't know why I have been so depressed about this. I'm always bullet proof. Hard core. So this is really throwing me for a curve. I've been avoiding my friends and family. I think I even lost a friend. I'm not sure how but we used to see each other at least three times a week and talk everyday on the phone. We have not spoken since I moved in with my mom. She sent an email telling me she couldn't go to the Memorial Service. I just don't understand.
Also the scattering of my moms ashes was horrible. It rained like a son of a gun and so we didn't climb the mountain. We only scattered a few hand fulls and next spring we will do the rest. Have I already told you guys this? I tell you I don't know if I'm coming or going.
The good news is, that it's getting colder, that's not the good news, the good news is we have eighteen cords of wood to keep are backsides warm! We have been out cutting, splitting and stacking. We still have a long way to go unless we get right on it. Which we will. If I can ever stop crying.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

He Likes CAKE

There is no doubt in any of our minds that we are going to have to keep Dane active. He likes cake. He likes candy. He likes chips and dip. He likes pudding. Ice cream, Popsicles, fudge and anything else he can reach or push a chair to climb up to get his big mitts on. And cookies, let us not forget the cookies!
Dane has done an about face with his eating habits since my mom died. Oh, he's always loved the junk, but he always ate fruits and veggies. Now meal time is a battle zone and I'm Hitler.
Some other changes in my boy are his ability to repeat EVERYTHING he hears. Case and point. One recent evening after I put him to bed (and he didn't want to go to bed) he yelled down in a possessed voice (Mooooommmm, get your ass up here now!!!) and I did. He also speaks of dying all the time. Things like, "If you don't let me watch TB (V) I will die you. Or, while playing with his sisters and not getting his own way he will scream, "You die and neber come back!" Isn't this just what every mother wants to hear from her two year old? Sigh
Yes, my children all stand on their chairs while they eat cake. I think they get it from their father. But maybe not.
Truly, Dane is a good boy. He just needs his mother to get it together and get it together I will. Today is a new day and the sun is shining.

Other Dane funnies.....
Dane pees off the porch, I've told you all that, but now his aim is much better. He can now hit the cat with his stream. Also sometimes the stream is so powerful he can hit the wheel of my car. He has also walked up to his sister and and declared, "I pee on you." and does. Now, if he's naked they immediately help him finds something to wear. Being urinated on is not a fetish they care to partake in.
My favorite is when he had just woken from his nap and had removed his diaper but we had not put undies on him. I was baking when he came in the kitchen, I was also talking to Dave on the phone. Dane pulled a chair to the fridge and climbed in. (He had a cup and was going to get a drink.) We have a fridge that has the pull out freezer on the bottom. So, I'm talking to Dave, and Dane is getting a drink and is wearing nothing but a shirt. All of a sudden he starts to say in a desperate voice, mommy, mommy, oohhhh, I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry and there was my boy, peeing in the fridge. It needed to be cleaned (Bleached) anyway. Who needs asparagus? It was actually quite comical as I grabbed his a flung open the door to hold him off the porch. I'm laughing my backside off and explaining to Dave what happened and my ever practical husband said to me, "Why would you let him pee in the refrigerator?" Yeah? Why would I?
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