Sunday, March 15, 2009

Cancer It Is

I have to be honest in saying I knew my mom had cancer again. All the signs were there. She just never recovered from her last surgery. She always feels not quite right and is ALWAYS tired. If you knew my mom you'd know that she's a power house. Now she can't go to the grocery store without napping after. You can imagine how frustrating it is for her. At least we now know why.
Friday was a rough day. Mom took the news well as can be expected. It was hard to be strong. I hid in the bathroom at the cancer center and cried. Cancer Sucks. I know I didn't fool anyone cause when I came out the nurses all gave me that I know you were blubbering look.
She seems to have a decent doctor. He is very knowledgeable and is optimistic. Now she has a battery of tests to go through to see if the cancer is in her bones and to see if it spread. I personally think it is in her bones. As it is you can see the cancer on her chest. I won't give ya all the details but it's scary.
This next week will be busy. Mom has tests everyday except Thursday and I have to home school everyday and do story time on Tuesday, Wednesday is AWANA, Thursday is choir and it's my turn to carpool. And I have to work every night. Then on Friday we find out just where the cancer is and mom starts chemo. What if the cancer is in her bones? Does that mean it will get her? I mean does it go away with chemo? I'm scared to google it. I am going to later though cause I hate not being prepared. My mom would rather not know anything and let is, is. That drives me crazy....

On a lighter note, when we were at the cancer center the lady at the front desk caught me rolling my eyes at her and she called me on it!!!! Shit.
After 16 years of marriage and 4 kids I have perfected the rolling of my eyes. I do it all the time. This time I got busted. That's all I need to have the people at the front office to hate me. I did apologise and try to explain that I wasn't rolling my eyes at her per say, just the situation. I don't think she bought it.

On a positive note. I think we can do this. Whatever this is. I know God is here and he knows what's going to happen and I have to BELIEVE that I can deal with this because I can't change it. All I can do is "roll with it". (baby)


KimberlyDi said...

I'm sorry. She's beat it before and she can do it again. You've taken her into your home so she doesn't have to fight it alone. It's been a struggle for you, I know, but you've done the right thing.

I'll pray for her.

FishermansDaughter said...

Cancer DOES suck - so so sorry it's rearing it's ugly head again. Yet another time I wished you lived closer so I could help out with rides, etc. Here's wishing for the best possible outcome.

Stacy D. Briefing said...

I concur with FD-cancer does suck!!! Wishing I could help out in some way. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well during all this ;)

Mama Goose said...

Praying that the power house in her beats the shit out of the cancer again. Sending all sorts of good vibes your way.

Philly said...

My mom had bone cancer. I'm sure you know we just don't get bone cancer , it mastiizes from somewhere else. In her case was her lung. They weren't even worried about the lung, were going to deal with that after.
Any questions, please feel free to email me.