Yesterday I answered the phone while my mom was at the hospital getting a Mugga scan. (scan on her heart) Since it's my house I normally do answer the phone. I knew it was her doctor because of caller id. This is how the call went...
Dr. K- Hi, how are you?
Me- I'm fine and yourself? (I always do that)
Dr. K - Fine, is your mom home?
Me- No she is getting her Mugga.
Dr. K- Oh, okay, well we have come up with a chemo regimen for her. I think we'll start her on Herceptin and Abraxane.
Me- Okay. How often? (He sounds very upbeat.)
Dr. K- I think we'll go every three weeks, that way she can get her feet under her and really start working on this cancer. ( My mom has a very hard time with chemo and last time almost kicked it twice.)
Me- Alright, so the cancer isn't anywhere else?
Dr. K- I'm afraid it it. It's in the wall of her chest, in her lymph nodes and I'm afraid it's in her liver.
Me- Really!? Are you sure? She just had a test on her liver because of her diabetes and that came back okay.
Dr. K- No, she really has cancer in her liver. I took her results to the conference yesterday afternoon and we all agreed after looking everything over.
Me- Well, (pause) what does this mean in terms of ( Dr. K cuts me off nicely)
Dr. K- Liver cancer is not curable. The only thing we can do is hope that the chemo/herceptin combo responds well. She has a very aggressive form of cancer.
Me- (I don't exactly remember how I put this, I was getting flustered at this point.) How long does she have?
Dr. K- Well, if she responds well to the chemo she could do fine for five years. People with liver cancer do not generally live beyond five years. If she doesn't respond well, three months, six months a year or two. It's really hard to tell until we get started.
Me- Okay then I will let her know what you've said. I'm sure we'll have a list of questions for you on Friday.
Dr. K- Yes, that would be great. I'll call back either tonight or tomorrow about this time and talk to your mom in case you don't tell her.
Me- Yeah, thanks that would be great. Thank You.
Dr. K- Bye.
So yesterday I told my mom she has liver cancer. I got to tell my dad and my brother. Plus my moms best friend (who I must say took it worse than me and my mom together) I did make my mom call my sister and tell her right away. I just couldn't do it. I'd had enough. I'm one of those people that will cry it out right away and then it's over and I get aggravated with others for not getting over it. It does not help in this kind of situation.
I have not handled this very well and need to suck it up. I have a family to run first and foremost. I can't drag them down with me. To top it all off I'm PMSing and am a roaring bitch. My husband said he wanted to tie a block around my neck and throw me in the river. Had he'd been serious I might have tied the rope and block myself and jumped. (Not really)