Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Oh Happy Day

Dave drug me out of bed this morning at 5am to make me walk with him. I wasn't happy starting out but I quickly got in swing of things. Dave was walking Trapper and I couldn't keep up to them so I took Trapper. I found that I could be dragged almost anywhere.
My loving husband wants us to look like this picture. We ain't never gonna look like that again. I also hope that he never tries to match his own clothes again. Did he think he matched? What about my hair? It's 1993 the 80's were over. Sadly I kept my hair like that until I became Missy flat head back in 2000.

When we got back to the house he got ready and left for work and I got to start my day with the fruits of our loins. Everything was going well and I was falsely thinking that it would be a wonderful day with the kids. That is, until I had to go to the bathroom.
As I'm trying to sneak in Chrissy plies me with 20 questions. Where are you going? Why? Are you going to take a shower? How long will you be? Oh my flipping word!!!! What's a mother to do?

So I dash in the bathroom and quickly close the door. Whew, I think I've made it. Then the knock. Mumma. Mumma. Dane, I say, mommy is using the bathroom. Go find your crayons and colour. Do you think it worked? No, Dane starts to scream and cry and bang on the door trying to get in someone is trying to kill him.

At this point I'd do anything for some quiet. So I start to sing to him to calm him down. So sing with me today folks.

To the tune of George Thorogood's I Drink Alone.

I poop alone, yeah yeah, with nobody else.
Yeah, you know when I poop alone I prefer to be by myself......

I won't go on but I'm sure you get it and can finish "by yourself"
Mom Update
It's 1:12 and mom is very sick. She needs fluids. The cancer center closes at 4pm and it takes 4 hours to get her fluids. We can't go to the hospital because as of 12: something this afternoon there are 3 cases of the SWINE FLU here in Maine. Two in Kennebec County, which is where we live, and one in York county. The Swine Flu! Can you imagine? I'm sure my husband will be thrilled since he goes to at least 4 different homes a day all across Maine.
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Mama Goose said...

OMG: the HAIR!!!!
OMFG: "I poop alone.." HAAAA!

Sorry about your mom. I hadn't heard about the H1N1 hitting here yet. Time to batten down the hatches me thinks.

Stacy D. Briefing said...

1: LOVE the hair!!! I too REFUSED to let go of the 80'S hair until waaaay later as well. LOL! My Goodness, how did we ever think applying a can of hairspray a day to our head was healthy?! (P.S. I think ya'll make a darling couple!)

2: Howling with laughter over the song!!! (You should "doo" a follow-up album Great Bathroom Songs...volume "poo"...I mean volume II
I too know what it is like to not have any private bathroom time! Do kids have some sort of radar about this or what?!

3: Sorry about your mom! Is there any way the doctor's can send someone to the house with the needed fluids?

4: We have over a dozen cases of Swine Flu confirmed here now! Scarey! Another reason I'm glad we homeschool!!!

Philly said...

The hair is rather big, I must say. And as for pooping alone? When my kids were small, the door just stayed open.

I don't know your situation , but if your mom has any funds, hire an aide , only if for a few hours a day. Your children are small, they need you and you need help.
I hope your mom feels better.


KimberlyDi said...

All of the Fort Worth schools in Texas have closed for the week. It's rather scary.

Frank said...

On the contrary, your husband's clothing tastes are amazing. I want a pair of those shorts now.

The only thing that could improve upon the awesomeness: a mustache. Think about it.

FishermansDaughter said...

I have an almost identical photo of me and Fats during happier times - only my hair was a permed FEM-mullet and my clothes not matching were worse than his.
There is a confirmed case of the oink flu at the daycare where Fats works - I've always been a freak about hand washing but have crossed into total OCD land with it now.
Love the Poop story and great song adaptation! Who with kids hasn't been there? Mine are 7 and 11 and STILL do sh*t (get it we're talking about doodie and I said sh*t - CLEVER!) like wait till I'm in the loo to ask me non-urgent questions - good times.
Sorry about your mom.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I'm trying not to choke over your Thorogood song. I'm dying. That's one of the funniest things I've read in ages!

A long time ago I gave up on trying to use the loo alone. And then Imp didn't want to bug me anymore...I thought I was in the clear. Now it's the kitten who sits there, outside the door and absolutely wails at the top of his freakin' little lungs. ANd when that doesn't work he starts batting his paws underneath the door.

Yeah, me and the bathroom will never have any genuine time together by ourselves for the foreseeable future.

Oh and that picture of you and the hubby...PRICELESS!