Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Well, the last few weeks here in Kennebec have been insane, wild, crazy and never ending. We've had great amounts of joy and sadness.

We officially moved mom to her new place on August 1. The few weeks prior she couldn't even get out of bed. I really didn't know how we were going to do it. But Dave forged on and drug me along with him. She wasn't ready to move, not packed and hadn't thought about what to take and what to get rid of. She was too sick.

The Friday before she moved she still didn't have a living room set or a TV. She wasn't going to trust me to buy any of these items for her. So on our way to the cancer center we stopped at a furniture store. We bought a couch, chair, sofa table and some bar stools. Oh and I talked her into a forty inch flat screen. All in fifteen minutes. Oh, and she flipped them an extra hundred bucks to have them deliver the stuff that day:) The next day I went back and ordered her two rugs and bought her a recliner and another sofa table.

The news at the cancer center was as I expected. They were not sure why mom was so sick. Stress? Denial? Cancer? All of the above? They did a herceptin treatment and did a tumor marker test. The doctor an appointment for the next Friday. I brought her home and rolled her back in bed.

Saturday morning turned out to be bright and sunny. We had people lined up to help us move but it became very apparent that no one was going to show up. It was just me and Dave. Oh, and the kids.

We loaded up the truck and removed the seats from the van and packed that to. Dane road with Dave, Chrissy with me and Mimi stayed with my mom. She (my mom) was valiantly trying to get around to pack her room and go through some boxes in the basement. It wasn't as tough as we expected. We unloaded in the basement of the building and road the elevator up. We had a great dolly that you could turn into a cart thingy. We were able to move up to four boxes at a time. With Dane and Chrissy holding the doors and pushing buttons it all worked out. Along noontime Dave said for me to call my mom and tell her to stop what she was doing and come to the apartment. It was the scariest hour of my life. I don't trust her driving and she had Mimi with her. But he was right. It was now or she wouldn't be able to leave our house because she was too worn out. And we really wanted her out. She really wanted her out. She and Mimi made it in under an hour safe and sound. It took us the rest of the day and I got the wonderful task of packing her bedroom. I couldn't believe all the stuff she had in there.

The last thing we had to do was grocery shop for her. I'm sure we all looked a sight but then again we were at Walmart, so did it matter? Dave took one half the list and I the other and knocked it right out. By the time we got home we were too tired to anything but shower and sleep. We ate out three times that day. Ewww. And the evening before. We were all looking for the normalcy to come back in our lives. It still hasn't happened.

Then something good did happen. Mom got up Sunday and wasn't sick. For that whole week she felt great. She worked like a mule to unpack her stuff and make her apartment a home. And she did. We made several trips to various stores to buy odds and ends that she needed. She was sooooooo happy. I was happy. I think you get this false hope that maybe, maybe she would be okay and that she'll be okay and she's not going to die. Its easy to do that.

We went to the doctors of Friday and she was still feeling great. Now even the doctor was thrilled. Then we looked at the results of the tumor marker. It was up. Up in the high seventies from the fifties. Sigh. The doctor still didn't want to prescribe anymore chemo. He said that this was the best she had felt in a year and if she took more chemo it would just drag her down. She agreed. We met up with Kadie (oh, I have a huge story to tell you guys tomorrow about whats happening in her life, she just now gave me permission to blab) and had a nice lunch, went to the Christmas Tree Shop and than to Target. Mom was spent by the time we got her home. We did find her what they call a beach buggy for her to use to bring her groceries up to her apartment and to take her trash out. We didn't think we find one and it was the first thing we found.

Monday, mom got up sick and has been ever since. It has been two weeks. Not only sick but in massive amounts of pain. Pain in her chest. Berta, her nurse, called me yesterday and told me that mom showed her three pimples that were on her chest. Berta didn't tell mom (because mom can't handle the truth right now) but its cancer. The cancer has come back through.

What this means is, she has months to live. All they can realistically do is keep her hydrated and comfortable. We see her doctor Friday and he gets to tell her in the kindest way he can. I wish I didn't have to be there for that.
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Mama Goose said...

I have no words. I wish I could hug you and tell you it's all going to be okay... I'm so sorry.

FishermansDaughter said...

Made. Of. SUCK.
Nothing can make this situation any better and I'm not trying to blow sunshine up yer hoo ha - but - how wonderful that she had that one week where she was well enough for you to all enjoy some freedom. I'm so so sorry. ((HUGS))

carsick said...

Mama Goose, we are okay. Really. If you came and hugged me thatn I'd bawl and we'd have to have booze.
FD, hit the nail on the head. We did have one great week. Hopefully we'll have one or two more.

Thanks for all of the support. It means a lot.

Stacy D. Briefing said...

Girl, so sorry you are having to go thru this damn shit mess!!! I don't envy your next dr appt either. If I were closer, I'd go with you-honest. Hang tough!
Thinking of you

Frank said...

I wish there was some kind of comforting words I could offer...but I'm at a loss. Just make sure she's as comfortable as possible and be there for her whenever she needs you. That's about all I can say.


Philly said...

So sorry about you Mom. Cancer bites the big one. Just try and get through the next Doc's appt and enjoy her while she is still with you.

They just opened a Christmas Tree Shop not far from me.....I LOVED IT,,,,,spent $160....LOL


KimberlyDi said...

I'm sorry too. I'll be praying for more pain-free moments. You've done so much for her happiness. You are a great daughter.

Audrey at Barking Mad! said...

I don't know what to say sweetie. I'm sorry. So sorry. Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing desperately that there was something I could do.