Friday, September 11, 2009


I need a peaceful easy feeling today.

I don't have much time so I'll be brief. Mom is not doing well. Confusion has set in and along with confusion comes the agitation. Her cancer is spreading like a wildfire and we are powerless to do anything about it.

I have a big black hole in my heart right now that I wonder if it will ever close. Not even a smile can make my tears stop flowing. My schedule is so over whelming to me that I wonder when and where and who I'm going to flip out on. I pray it will be a stranger that I don't know and not someone I love.

I've been going to my moms at least two times a day for the past week. Sometimes three. Today my sister and I have a social worker coming to her house to meet with us so she can help my mom understand that we need to check her finances to make sure her bills are paid. We are going to try to marathon through this and pick a funeral home plus my moms two brothers are coming. On top of that I have to volunteer at the fair tonight I sent an email asking someone to step up for me but no one has responded. My sister leaves tomorrow so we have to get stuff done. She won't be able to get back for a month unless mom dies. I don't want to have to make all the decisions.

I'll post more later.
Please don't forget all of the men and women that died today because of the people who Hate our contry.
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KimberlyDi said...

God bless you sweetheart. I pray God gives you the strength to continue forward during these difficult times.

Philly said...

I know this is a horrible time and on top of it your sister is leaving.Unfortunately you will prob have to step up and take care of everything. If your family is like mine, they will just assume you will do everything.

Thinking of you


Stacy D. Briefing said...

I'm very sorry for all the stress you are going through!!! ((hugs))

Seems it wasn't so very long ago we were doing the same thing with Ricardo's Mom. My SIL is a nurse, so she made sure there was a DNR(do not resusitate)form filled out...(you'd be surprised)-we were glad we had it when the time came. It saves a lot of stress. Also having an executor of will/estate (even if there isn't anything much to distribute) will help with the hassle of closing bank accounts, electricity, credit cards, etc. Hope this info helps, not stresses you out more.

Thinking of you and wishing you the strength and patience you need to deal with all this right now. Lean on your family and friends- ask for help,they are all just waiting for a word on what they can do to make things easier for you.

More hugs-

Stacy D. Briefing said...

I've logged in several times today. Just had you on my mind. Don't know what I can do-other than to send you heartfelt thoughts. Wishing I could ease your stress and tears or lighten your burden somehow. Hope your hanging in there alright.

FishermansDaughter said...

Aw honey, I am so so sorry. That's just a giant shit sandwich you shouldn't have to eat. ((HUGGS))