Sunday, September 13, 2009
I know I'm twisted. What a view she has. I sit at her computer and try to blog but I can't concentrate because of all the action outside the windows. I could sit forever and watch. Not because it's peaceful or exciting, but because I'm nosey and like to watch the people get pulled over. I'm kind of weird like that.
We had a long weekend. Or I guess I should say, I had a long weekend with my mom. After working at the fair Friday night and the whole day Saturday I was beat. I went to mom's and got her something to eat and gave her pills. Then I sat down beside her and told her we had to talk. She had been crying. From the looks of her she cried most of the day. She asked me why the doctor wouldn't tell her what was going on. I really didn't want to have this conversation with her. As a matter of fact I had been avoiding it for two weeks. Now I wasn't going to be able to squirm out of it. Damn I thought.
mom: Why won't the doctor tell us why I'm so sick and in so much pain?
me: Okay mom, it's like this, um, we have to be honest here. You know?
me: You know how you have more spots coming through your skin under your arm?
me: You know how your shoulder hurts and none of the fluid will drain from your arm?
me: You and I both know what that is, don't we mom?
mom: (crying) Yes, it's the cancer.
me: Yes mom, I too think that it's the cancer. I also think that we both know that the cancer is spreading faster than we anticipated. Do you think that too?
mom: Why can't I just shut my eyes and go to sleep and not wake up?
me: I don't know mom, (now I'm bawling) maybe God thinks you have some unfinished business here to take care of.
mom: I just want to go.
Now this is real life people. The stuff they don't tell you in school.....