A few months ago I'm watching T.V. and the phone rings. Dave goes to answer it and runs it over to me. The Id said- Sperm Donor. I almost crapped my pants.
So I answer the phone and he hangs up.
He calls again. And hangs up when I answer. Dave and I just look at each other and I don't even remember what we said. I'm sure it wasn't nice. I mean why is he hanging up. Doesn't he know that everyone has caller id?
He calls again and when I answer he asks me if I am Melissa Phillips because he can't pronounce the last name. (Thats what he said, I swear to God) Before he can stumble on I cut him off and say, "Yes Sperm Donor it's me."
I don't really remember the whole conversation. The jist of it was, his sort of girlfriend found me on Facebook.
I knew that this day would come. I just didn't expect it to be then.
My mom was very sick at this point and we had quite a bit of stress. Kadie didn't need this now.
S.D. went on tho tell me that he had a bad ticker and didn't know how long he had to live. He had been brought back three times aleady. He's on full disability and doesn't get out much. He also went on to say that he still smokes pot, butts and loves his Mad Dog.
I politely tell him that he can leave his phone number with me and I would pass it on to Kadie and if he heard from her then he did and if he didn't well he didn't.
Kadie did end up calling him. She didn't really want to. (Maybe she just told me that to make me feel better after all she voted Obama and told me she voted differently) But I did tell her that if he did drop dead than she'd have regrets.
Two weeks later after leaving the cancer center with my mom, Kadie, my mom and I went to Target. Now we are not in our home town. As we go through the doors we split up. I go with my mom and Kadie goes to get cat litter.
About five minutes pass and Kadie calls my cell phone. I answer.
Me: What!? Are you so lazy you can't walk around and find us?
Kadie: Um, can you come here?
Me: What? Why?
Kadie: I'm in the kitty litter aisle talking to Dingy, Dummy and Ditzy.
Me: WHAT!???? I'll be right there!
Dingy, Dummy and Ditzy are SD's sisters and mom. Well they are all his sisters. His mom gave SD and his younger sister to her parents when they were small because her husband was killed in the war. He was drunk and fell off the back of a tank and got run over. She thought she was too young to be a mom and split. So actually she was talking to his mom and aunts.
So I go over and they are all excited and launch into a story about one of the dingbats having to pee and that they are on their way out of state (they live hours from this store) and they decided to stop here because the restroom might be cleaner that somewhere else. Blah blah blah
They said they were behind us coming in and they saw me and KNEEEWWWW it was me. So instead of saying hey Melissa, the followed Kadie to the kitty litter aisle to ambush her.
Kadie told me that she was standing and looking at the kitty litter and she saw these three woman staring at her. Not only that but they were gigggling and edging closer to her. She proceeded to ignore them until one said, you probably don't remember me (why the fuck should she? She hasn't seen these woman since she was six months old) but I'm you Aunt Dingy. They then whip out cell phones and ask if they can take pictures of her. At this point she excuses herself and calls me.
We all had a nice little chat where they told Kadie how beautiful she was and blah blah blah and they couldn't wait to show SD pictures. Thay also kept saying that it was fate.
I must say that Kadie and I thought that this was one of the weirdest frigging things that has ever happened to us. And we've had some weird stuff happen.
To be cont.