For me to say that I've been doing well since my mother died would be a big fat lie. It has messed with every single aspect of my life. No longer can I laugh things off or smoothe over hurt feeling between the kids, I just don't seem to care. Don't get me wrong I want to. I really do. Every day I either step forward or back. If it doesn't go my way I look for someone to blame. Mostly Dave and sometimes the kids.
Ever since my mom walked through our door a year ago last Decemember our homeschool life went to hell in a handbasket. I can't get it back. Everyday it's a new fight to learn. When I finally get one on track the other one starts in. To the point where we are all screaming and hating. This past weekend I spent most of the weekend working on lesson plans. I was so excited. We had some fun stuff planned. We get up this morning and my oldest child at home decided that it didn't matter that she said we'd start today fresh today. No fighting. We all agreed and signed a paper last night. By 8:30 this morning I wanted to hang myself. (a figure of speech)
So I did what I swore I would never do. I marched their little asses over to the local school and started the enrollment process. Some how they think it will be easier there. So now they get to find out. I can be nothing if not accomodating. One of my biggest reasons for teaching at home was I didn't want the girls around such chaos. It's hard enought to learn but to have to under constant turmoil is crazy. But then I looked in the mirror. I didn't really like what I saw. Here at home the one safe place my kids have is under constant turmoil. Caused by me.
So if I can find their birth certifacates (which I can't) they will start by the end of the week. Maybe sooner. I have over nighted for new ones. I'm sure the ones I have here at home will turn up right after I get the new ones.
I probably won't blog too much this week as I am feeling very sorry for myself. Hopefully our family will jump right back on track. Change is good. Though I'd rather have it in my pocket.