Friday, March 19, 2010

because pictures don't lie

My children keep snatching my camera and taking pictures of me. I don't like having my pictures taken. Now I know why. Let me dissect this picture for a moment. First, where are my eyes? What happened to them? And my hair. You would think I would do something with that. It just hangs bringing attention to my no -eyes. I won't go on because as you and I can see we both know that I need to go on a drastic "get my eyes back" routine. Either that or I must stop smiling.
So, because I don't want to be the fat mom anymore I have been cutting back and trying to walk everyday.
It's the obstacles that I've had to overcome to do this though that have been driving me crazy. Dave went out of town. (I was a basket case and drank and ate all weekend) My friend came for a few days while he was gone and helped me drink more and eat some more. Eating really is over rated. NOT! But the worst thing that has happened to me is my stinking armpits. I have been using that salt stick deodorant. Remember? Well since I've been walking (GROSSNESS ALERT!) I've been one big sweaty, stinky mess. On top of that my armpit (my right one if you wanted to know) has developed a rash that won't go away. I've tried everything and I can get it to almost go away but then it just comes back. I've stopped using fabric softener and used every kind of cream you can imagine. Even something for jock itch. It was there PEOPLE and I was desperate! Just to let you know I don't have Jock Itch arm pit. The stuff didn't work.
The worst part is "I stink" I can't use any deodorant because of the rash and let me tell you a rash and a salt stick don't mix. Trust me on this.
So if you see me know that I over shower on a regular bases but please stand down wind. It's for your benefit only.
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5 comments:

carsick said...

Remember if I can't make fun of myself, who can?

KimberlyDi said...

You are lucky that you don't have the "fat face" that I have. :) I wish you luck in your efforts to get back into shape. I'm sweating along with you!

FishermansDaughter said...

Oh honey if it makes you feel any bettah - you're not alone in either the disappearing eye/ dissatisfied with her bod mom (my vanity and phobia of wierdos are two of the things that keeps me from posting pics of me on my blog - vanity being #1 - I haven't liked any pictures taken of me since - well - prolly Y2K...) or the armpit rash stinky mom department. Walking/ yard work/riding and snacking on only healthy treats (like carrots, celery, h20, etc) after 6PM helped me be significantly less jiggly. As far as the armpit thing goes, took me a while to figure out I'm allergic to those "skin softening strips" modern razors have. HELLO BURNING RASH! Washing with only pure soap (no perfumes, dyes, etc) and wearing only natural (cotton, linen, etc) fabrics then putting the deodorant on the OUTSIDE of my shirts after I dressed - worked like a charm. I'll still hug you - even if you're stinky. OX

Stacy D. Briefing said...

I told my sister the other day, I wish there was a real life application for photoshoppe. I would lift my eyes, erase my extra chins, make myself taller....etc :)
I must say, I have been using the deod you recommended-love it! But if I get razor rash and use it-yipes! Salt and razor burn do not mix. Although its nice to use a deod that can also be used around the rim of a margarita glass in a pinch! LOL!

Mama Goose said...

FD might have a point with the strips on the razors... I have been having a hell of a time with my pits lately too.

I think you're beautiful despite squinty eyes and a couple of pounds. It's the inside that matters. But of course, I don't post pictures of myself either...