Sunday, July 11, 2010

Farmhouse Stairs

I know I've posted pictures before of these stairs. Back about a year ago when I said I was going to paint the hall and refinish the stairs. As you can see I've jumped right on that.
But that's not the reason why I'm blogging today. I probably never would have ever mentioned the stairs to you again and would have hoped that maybe you had forgotten that I ever said I was going to do it.
No the reason why I'm blogging is to tell you that ever since we moved into this house I have always wondered that if I fell down the stairs and grabbed the banister would it support me. I'm no lightweight and this isn't a new banister.
Well a week ago I had the chance to find out. The Friday before the Forth of July Dave took the kids to work with him. He had to go to the office in Wells so that would give me about six hours of alone time to clean. I actually needed twelve but we won't split hairs. Anytime alone to clean is a blessing.
I trucked up and down those damn stairs so many times that I lost count. I would leave a basket on the stairs and fill it up with stuff and when it was full I'd go up and put the stuff away. Well at one point I left the basket upstairs and when I came back down I noticed an American Girl Doll shoved under the table in the hall. So I grabbed it and I reached up and set in on the stairs just over half way up. I then went to fold the laundry in the dryer. It ended up being two big baskets full so I balanced them on top of each other going back up the stairs. I remembered that the doll was there but couldn't reach down get it.
Are you bored yet?
No? Okay I'll go on. Well, I gathered up all the empty clothes baskets that were upstairs than dug out all of the dirty shit that the girls had shoved under their beds and threw it into one of the baskets and then stacked all seven of the baskets on top of each other and headed down the stairs. I was thinking as I hit that first step that I was doing pretty good. I might even have time to clean out the cupboards. You see my sister was coming to dinner and every time she comes into my house she opens all the cupboards and checks out all the junk food. Poor thing doesn't have kids so she doesn't have all the junk crap at her house. (She doesn't know how I envy the order in her life compared to the chaos in mine.) Anyway that's what I was thinking about when I stepped on the head of the American Girl Doll. My foot rolled and I immediately started to pitch forward and as I did I let loose of the laundry baskets. I went down a few steps and managed to grab on to that railing for dear life. I looped my arm through the rail and held on even as my body propelled forward. My body flung left and then abrutly right and I heard a tearing sound on my right side. Then I stopped. It was over. I stood there freaking out because I didn't die and then then I remembered that the banister held my weight. So that mystry was solved. Yes the banister would hold me if I grabbed it while I was falling down the stairs.
On the other hand I pulled some serious muscles in my back and right now the asprin has worn off and I'm incredibly bitchy because I hate taking asprin or any medications. So now that I've told you all of this I think I'll go to bed and hopefully tomorrow when I wake it will feel less worse.
Thank you and goodnight. Melissa


Mama Goose said...

Holy shit woman! I'm so glad you didn't plunge over the edge!! Thank God for good old fashioned construction! Sorry you're hurting though and I hope you're feeling better soon!

Stacy D. Briefing said...

Stairs are dangerous for the overworked mom. Also gracefully challenged or people with too much on their minds...As I'm all 3, I've slipped on mine too many times to mention. :)

So glad you didn't plunge to an early demise girlie!!! Who wants to go while cleaning house?!!! Much better to go to the otherside while skydiving with George Clooney or something else exotic and exciting. ;)

Hope your back is better soon! I recommend soaking in a hot Epsom Salt bath while consuming copeous amounts of wine. ;)

Dr. Stacy