Friday, August 13, 2010

The Joys of Camping

Last week I decided I would take the kids camping by myself. Then on Sunday when I was supposed to leave my husband said he didn't want us to go. So we didn't. If I had really wanted to go nothing would have stopped me. But I was a little nervous. So Sunday afternoon was spent wishing I went but not doing anything about it.

I have been really in a pit of hell lately. Missing my mom has taken up my life. I think because its almost the one year mark and this time last year was awful. I have been reliving it constantly. I don't mean to, really! It just keeps creeping in to my mind. I try to shove it away and push it back. I find myself having these conversations with myself. One part of my mind is crying for my mom and real tears are pouring down my cheeks and the other part of my mind is saying "Get a grip on yourself! Your family needs you." I try to keep pushing on but I end up not getting done what I need to do and disappointing everyone around me. Now to really wallow in self pity, it sucks to be me.
Monday morning I told my lovey that I wish we had went camping. He said why don't you go then. I didn't do anything but lay on the bed and cry. At 10:00 he called and asked if we were going and I blurted out yes before I could say no. So camping we went. We were all packed so it didn't take long to get on the road. In the back of my mind I thought that if I could just get away from the house for a few days I could get a clear head and everything would work itself out. Everything went smoothly getting there and the tent went up without a hitch. With the exception of the fricken rocks and tree roots. But the girls and I did it! I seriously think that my husband didn't think I could get it done. GO GIRL POWER!!! GO!!!! Mt. Blue State Park was lovely. The lake was nice and the walking paths were beautiful. Except that I couldn't get the girls to walk anywhere. And they refused to use the outhouses. Chrissy went 12 hours without peeing until I finally took her to the big bathrooms. The girls a real camel.
I took a picture of the inside of the tent so you'd know I wasn't fibbing. I really went on my own. The first night it rained like a son of a bitch. We found out the tent has a leak and a few things got wet but no big deal. We talked to Dave Tuesday morning and he said he thought he'd be able to come up and spend the night. The girls were so happy. Marian wanted him to come up so she could go home with him because she told him she was having a bad time. I'm bored she said. Walking is boring, swimming is boring. How a slap in the head I said, is that boring? She stuck her tongue out at me. Then her and Chrissy decided to argue the rest of the day. Late morning I realized the camera card wasn't in my camera so we did a thirty minute ride to Walmart to get one. I also bought some salad off the deli to eat with dinner. I put in in a hot/cold bag on the ride back. (I'm getting to something here)

Dave couldn't come up after all because his schedule changed at work. The girls were sad until he told us Kadie was on her way. I was so happy, I was going to have all my kids and I wasn't going to have to share them with daddy. He usually is the one that has all the fun with the kids
The one thing about camping when it rains is you can't control the mud! AGH! Sand in my sleeping bag!
Anyway, Tuesday afternoon we were sitting around the fire deciding what to do the rest of the day and I got into the salad from Walmart. It was good and I had a big bowl of it. The girls pigged out on junk food. When it was time for dinner no one was hungry so we decided to wait for Kadie to arrive.
Kadie showed up about 8:00 and the poor thing had got lost trying to find us. It also had rained during the evening and she kept having to pull over because she couldn't see well. We didn't want to burst her bubble but we were soooooooo tired. Camping takes alot out of you. By 9 we were all in bed. By 9:05 I knew I was going to puke or poop. Maybe both. And maybe both at the same time. I told Kadie I was going to be sick and she threw me her car keys and I raced (10 mph) to the big bathrooms and proceeded to get violently ill. I hung out there for awhile and went back to the camp site and now it was really raining out. I didn't go in the tent because I knew I would be sick. It was awful (something just happened to my font and I can't fix it) I sat by the fire not daring to move because I knew I'd puke. Kadie came and sat with me. Telling me unless stories to try to take my mind off being sick. It didn't help. But I was grateful for the ditraction. I kept having to run to the outhouse to go to the bathroom and even though I covered my face with my sweatshirt I would still start to gag and would burst forth from the outhouse with the door slamming hard and running for the bushes. This kept up until about 3am. Kadie said my dry heaves only echoed through the campground a little bit. I think she was trying to be nice.
We went in to finally sleep and ten minutes later I knew I was once again going to puke. I jumped up and started to unzip the tent and got my hair caught in the zipper. WHY OH WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME!? I was in the process of ripping hair from my head when Kadie untangled it for me and I made a dash to the bushes. After that I finally was able to crawl in my sleeping bag, grab Dane and put him in with me because his face felt cold and sleep.
Kadie and I both woke up at 6, I don't think she actually slept though, and we drifted back off to sleep. At 8:30 I woke to a very warm and wet feeling around my stomach and chest area. As I moved to see what it was the smell of urine assaulted my nostrils like you wouldn't believe. Dane peed. On me. When I looked up all three girls started to giggle and said ewwwww Dane! He kept sleeping. At that point I just gave up and said, "Girls we are going home." And they cheered.


KimberlyDi said...

Yep, there's been a notice about these bags of salad greens being recalled because they could cause food poisoning. Sorry you suffered through that.

About the mother thing, IT WILL GET BETTER. Raw pain morphs into a sweet sad nostalgia. It gets easier after year 2 or 3. But, yes, I know how much it hurts.

My word is bewisesi

FishermansDaughter said...

Aw punkin! You're really having a rough go! Being sick is bad enough but being sick without the comforts of indoor plumbing is purely medieval!! Big thumbs up to you for tackling taking the kids ANYWHERE on your own - camping takes the cake.

As you know I'm going through Mutha shiz too - sorry you're so down. (hug) even though that's not exactly helpful - all I can do is say "I get it", "You're not alone" and the ever lame "this too shall pass".

Mama Goose said...

There's nothing like puking in a public bathroom! I once spent the night on a hotel bathroom floor puking my guts out. At least there weren't any mosquitoes. You're a brave, brave woman.

Sorry you're having a tough go of it in the mother world... I wish I had some sage words of comfort, but alas, I spent the last two nights crying for mine too... Maybe a moon phase is causing us to focus on the loss too much?

On another note, have you seen the meteor showers? Maybe it's our Ma's saying a sweet hello...

Stacy D. Briefing said...

May I just say I think you deserve a medal of some sorts! Great googly moogly that was some kind of adventure from hell woman! Not only did they have you outnumbered 4 to 1, but to be hit by the upchucks in the wilderness....unbelievable, uncalled for, and extremely unfair! I truly hope your feeling better now!

Sending strength, peace, healing, hugs and much happiness your way.