Monday, September 13, 2010
Dave: You have to come here.
Me: No, why? What's wrong?
Dave: All of theses girls have come to hang out with Chrissy. I don't even know half of them. Am I in charge of them? Where are their parents. You just have to come.
Me: No, I'm cleaning.
Me: I'll see you in a few minutes.
This is why my house is always a mess.............
When I got there Mimi was scarfing down a Carmel apple. The clumps are Carmel kept getting caught in the gaping hole between her front teeth. Yesterday she wondered if that gap was ever going to fill in. I secretly wondered that too.
Notice all the seedy looking characters? This here's a real country fair folks! We even crown a Dairy Princess every year.
So today I have some massive cleaning and laundry to do. I didn't sleep worth a darn last night. I lay in bed and all I can think about is should I have pushed my mom into one more round of chemo. Would it have made a difference? Is she okay where she is now? Does she forgive me for being a rotten kid? It just doesn't end. It's awful and I can't get over the guilt and the sorrow. I feel so strange inside. One part of me tells me to get up off my ass and move! Live my life! The other part of me, the part that's winning is letting me walk in circles not knowing what to say, do or think one minute to the next. It's a real pressure cooker in my head.
So anyway, I've got to get on with my day. I wouldn't want my FIL to walk in to the house when it looks like this. (He wouldn't care) I care. Maybe I'll post a few before and after pictures of the chaos to help keep me motivated through the day:) Isn't that what you wanted to see? My mess. Hee hee!