Friday, September 10, 2010

Where do you stand?

Recently I was talking to another mom and the subject of bed wetting came up. I was very freaked out over how upset this mom became because her son started wetting the bed after being totally trained for the past year.
I come from a long line of bed wetters. Now my siblings never wet the bed. I on the other hand rarely wet my bed. I was known to sleep walk and pee on other peoples beds and in their rooms. I would dream I was walking and had to pee so I'd stop and pee. I remember once waking to my brother screaming at me to get off his bed. He was also screaming for our mom. My jammies were down to my ankles and I was on the center of his bed in the squat position. As much as he was very disturbed over this my mom did not get upset with me. Which is amazing because she hated anything dirty and I was about to make a huge mess for her to clean. I think I was nine.
As I had children she was always on top of the potty training. All children should be trained no later than two. That was her stance. My stance was its easier to change a diaper in the car than find a place to pee. So I never pushed it. Kadie was trained by the time she was two and a half. So was Chrissy. Mimi on the other hand took a little longer. Now that's another story for a rainy day. Dane was potty trained by eighteen months. I was very disappointed in him. He has made my life so hard ever since. I didn't potty train him he just did it.
Dane, in the past year, wets the bed. Not all the time. Sometimes he'll go months and not wet the bed and sometimes he'll wet the bed twice in one day. At nap time and bed time. Yes I get frustrated but I don't ever get mad at him. The look of horror on his face when he's figured out he wet his bed is punishment enough. It's not always his fault though. Sometimes I forget to have him pee before bed. Or we've had a particularly busy day and he just doesn't wake up. To try and solve the problem for the past year I have been waking him up at 10 to take him to the bathroom. If we've been really busy I'll get him up around 2am to go again. (I haven't slept a full night in 23 years) It's a pain in the ass, yes, but what choice do I have? Either get him up or have a mess to clean. Sometimes I can get him up and he still pees. But I don't spank him for it. I don't yell at him and I certainly don't announce to everyone we come in contact with that Dane was a bad boy last night because he peed the bed. But maybe I have it wrong. What do you think?
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FishermansDaughter said...

I think you have it exactly right. Kids mature at different ages and some just don't have that kind of control until later - Cripes Biggs is 12 and still has trouble wiping... I know too much information. Anyway, I don't think peeing the bed is something anyone should be punished or ridiculed or made to feel bad about. ps I'm super envious of those Dane on the bike pics - neither of my kids can ride a bicycle - not due to a lack of equipment or opportunity - they both have bikes but zero interest.

KimberlyDi said...

I don't think it is right to spank a child over something they have no control over. Spanking wouldn't stop my sleepwalking. In fact, being stressed over it would make it worse.

It's not laziness.

carsick said...

Kim, I would never spank him for wetting the bed. As a matter of fact I didn't even spank him when he was mad at his sister and said I pee on You and dropped his boxers and peed on her in the middle of the livingroom. (I was too busy laughing)

Nell said...

Neither one of my boys is nighttime trained. They are both incredibly heavy sleepers. I know they'll do it when their bodies are ready.

Do people really punish their kids for wetting the bed? Yikes.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you told everyone in the world about your sleep-bathroom incident ! We were laughing about it this morning.

You get points for telling it exactly like it happened !

My little sister has no shame !