Saturday, January 1, 2011
Good Bye 2010
We stayed home last night. It was the first year the girls stayed up to watch the ball drop. We ordered Chinese food and watched movies while wishing midnight would hurry up and come so we could go to sleep. Mims is so grouchy today that I wanted to lock her outside so she'd stop making my brain thump. I sent all the kids upstairs at 7:30. Mom and dad need some quiet time.
I went to bed last night so happy. When I got up this morning I was all alone and I jumped on face book with my cup of coffee and proceeded to settle in to read every one's posts. I immediately read something that hurt my feelings. Now my feelings don't get hurt too easily. I'm pretty cool with letting things slide but this I couldn't. It just made me realise that I just don't fit in anywhere. I had hoped to leave THAT feeling behind in the seventh grade. By the time Z got up I had wound myself up so much that I wanted to sell the house and leave Maine. Or at least move to where I had no close family because I don't even fit in with my family.
When I finally told Z what was wrong (I'm sure he was thankful to find out it wasn't him.) he said he understood and felt the same way I did but we needed to move past it and understand that it's just me and him. I so want my mom to talk to right now so I can cry on her shoulder. I cleaned the Christmas storage area with such a ferociousness while praying at the same time that Mims asked me if I was mad at God. It took me a minute and I started to laugh. How silly I must have looked to her. I was ranting and raving while wielding the wet and dry vac. What a loon! It also made me realise that even though my feelings were hurt I was hurting my family more by acting crazy. So I finished up what I was doing and came upstairs with a new tude.
The rest of the day was spent helping Kadie out. She's sick with what I had so Z and I went to her house and cleaned. She didn't know that's what we were going to do. She thought we were just dropping something off and leaving. I even cleaned her cats litter box. ICK!!!!
I don't know what the year will bring but I didn't make any resolutions. That way I won't be upset when I can't fulfil them. I have a bunch of wants to do and I'm just going to stick to that for now. I hope everyone had a great night last night, whether you went out and partied, stayed home and snuggled or just went to bed! It's a new year and everyday of it is a new beginning.